Hell Dream (2023) (semi-canon)

 (Sorry this formatting sucks and also this isn’t the whole written thing and it’s written poorly. Buuuut wanted to post this because why not. That is all.)

Music Box Destruction (2023) (semi-canon)

 It was a day. Bowler Hat and Sword had been banished from town after committing a few atrocities. Bowler Hat swore he knew something grand was over there, away from town, but only from a hunch. Sword hadn’t anywhere else to go, but was getting impatient with all this traveling.

Sword coughed.

Bowler Hat looked over. “Are you coming down with something?”

Sword shook his head. “Nah, it’s just.. There isn’t much water around here.. I wonder if we should head back.”

Bowler Hat scowled. “I told you, water is in the grass! Plants have water!”

“Okay, maybe enough water for bugs! I’m not a gosh darg bug man! I’m a living, breathing sword! I need water-water! Not these frunking plants!”

Bowler Hat roles his eyes. “I swear to you, we will find a greater land.. I can feel it, I feel energized the more.. this way.. I go..”

Sword groans. “You better be seriously right, I’m getting tired of all this walking, bag and tent. And I swear, if we don’t find actual water soon I’m gonna drink it out of your blood.”

Bowler Hat winces. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

It took them time.. Weeks.

At some point Sword started feeling so dizzy. “Dude, I think we are going to die out here.. I don’t think your hunch means anything.. it’s just endless plains.”

“I swear to you, we are so… close?”

Sword noticed Bowler Hat paused, and looks over. “Why’d you say it like that?”

Bowler Hat stares into the distance. Sword looks I’m the same direction. “What are you staring at??”

“That thing over there,” Bowler Hat says, starting to walk towards it.

Sword, who had much worse vision, looked in the same direction. “I can’t see it.”

“It’s literally right here,” Bowler Hat said, walking closer to the object, as Sword followed, the object becoming clearer.

“Huh, what do you know.. a.. chest?” Sword stared, “who brought it here?”

Bowler Hat ignored him. “This probably has treasure! And, and-“

Bowler Hat fell into a fit of manic laughter. “My hunch, man! It lead me here!”

Sword sighed. “Okay, what would we even do with treasure?! In the middle of frunking nowhere?!”

Bowler Hat groaned. “We go back home, they’ll see the fortune we found and forgive us! Or-or- we can bribe them…”

Sword sighed. “I mean, my legs don’t ache so bad right now.. I could’ve sworn they hurt bad a few minutes ago.. do you think it’s a blessing of some sort? Are we dying?”

Bowler Hat groaned, “You always were a bit spiritual, weren’t you? I’m sure it’s tons of money in here! Or a dead body.. preferably money!”

The two tried pulling it open, but it seemed to be locked.

“Huh, odd.. I don’t see a keyhole, you?”

Sword shook his blade as if it were a head. “Nope, maybe we can use my crowbar I brought..”

“Why did you bring a frunking crowbar?!”

“They’re frunking useful, that’s why!” 

Sword pulled out his crowbar, shoving it into the crack of the box, trying to pry it open.

“Dude, you gotta jump on it, your arms aren’t gonna work!”

“You don’t even have arms, I know what I’m doing!”

Bowler Hat jumped up onto the crowbar, forcing Sword to let go. 

“Dude, you aren’t even heavy, you aren’t gonna open it like that!”

“Okay, you jump on it then!”

“My balance sucks.. but whatever, I’ll try.”

Sword stepped onto the crowbar, but sort of just ended up perched there. He shrugged, and Bowler Hat rolled his eyes.

Bowler Hat groaned. “If this chest had like, a keyhole, I bet we could lock-pick it in a second!”

Sword stared at the box. “It looks pretty old..”

Bowler Hat nodded. “Yeah, I can see that.”

Sword stared at a small latch on the front, and the overall shape. “Dude, this is like.. a music box.”

“I sure hope not,” Bowlerr Hat said, “unless it has treasure..”

“No, like, the magic ones.. haven’t you read the book?”

“I don’t read those. Don’t got the time.”

“Well, if you HAD, you’d know this is a magic music box! It’s got like, the essence of life in it.. we could have so much power!”

Bowler Hat lifted an eyebrow. “How much?”

“Enough to take over our dumb little town probably,” Sword said with a smirk, “that’s probably why it’s so hard to open as well.. if we get it open, they’ll be sorry for kicking us out!”

Bowler Hat smiled as well, “I suppose that’s a fair bargain, we’ll have to walk back though..”

“Dude, with this power it’ll probably feel like nothing!”

Bowler Hat chuckled. “Then good thing I brought my jackhammer!”

“Yeah we can- wait, what? You packed a frunking jackhammer?!”

“Well, yeah, I can’t just give up my jackhammer!”

“Dude, I was carrying your bag for you!”

“I know!”

Sword felt his eyelid twitch, but sighed. “Whatever, try it. I’ll use my hammer.”

The two went about using their tools, feeling a bit out of it. Not tired, of course not. Just as if they were in a dream as they did this. 

A little over-energized, more than they should’ve been.

“It’s working!! Oh man, I can feel it already!! Oh man!” Sword grinned manically, as the box began to crack.

Eventually, it broke, energy shooting out.

Sword and Bowler Hat got blasted back, overwhelmed with energy, so giddy they didn’t pay much attention to the bat-like being who arose from the box. Each music box had its own protector, known as its Dancer.

“We did it!!” Sword said, sitting up shakily, laughing with giddiness.

Bowler Hat laughed as well. “I always knew we could! We’re amazing man, the best duo in the world!”

They both laughed and embraced, as the being stared, unimpressed.

“You guys messed up. You messed up real bad,” the bat-like being mumbled.

“No way we didn’t! We have all the power right now man!” Sword said with a mischievous grin.

The Dancer groaned. “You know these boxes make magic, right? The magic that keeps you alive?”

“And it’s all for us!” Sword yelled out happily.

“All for us!!!” Bowler Hat echoed.

The Dancer shook his head annoyedly. “You doomed everyone around here!!”

“Nobody’s even here,” Sword chuckled.

“This magic travels far.. wherever you came from, it probably goes there. They’re all going to die.”

Bowler Hat kept his smirk, but seemed to lift an eyebrow. “Oh? I mean.. not much for me there.. why would they die?”

Sword was eating the grass, laughing to himself, the energy too overwhelming for him to think properly.

The Dancer scowled. “The music box, it can’t make magic if it’s broken. Magic runs out. When it runs out, well, you die. Unless you manage to eat enough to keep yourself going, but.. well. You guys are pretty much screwed..”

“Well, we aren’t running out anytime soon, right?” Bowler Hat asked, maintaining a nonchalant smile, but could feel some anxiety growing within himself.

Sword still seemed ignorant of the conversation, running around.

“You’ll run out, you think this stuff lasts forever?! It isn’t like you just store it inside you. It oozes out with everything you do.  Without a steady, continuous magic flowing into the air, you’ll just.. well, lose it, die. Not even an easy death.. you’ll probably lose all your limbs, lose your face.. your soul will leave last.. I’d advise you warn your hometown as soon as you can.. maybe you can get out in time.”

Sword finally seemed to calm down a bit, finally coming back to the conversation, which Bowler Hat didn’t seem so happy anymore.

“So, now what!”

Bowler Hat sighed. “We need to hurry back to town..”

“And show off this power we got?!”

Bowler Hat stared at Sword, who seemed completely oblivious. He nodded. “Yeah, to show off the power.”

“I bet I can carry both the bags with no sweat this time!” Sword said cheerily.

Bowler Hat sighed. “Why don’t you leave them here? We don’t need them anymore..”

Sword nodded. “True, you’re right! We have all the power in the world now!”

Bowler Hat smiled fakely. “We sure do..”